


Evan Climbs A Tree Again

by BlueGirl22



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (nothing happens but evan thinks about when he jumped out of the tree), Gen, Suicide mention, let The Boy heal, my usual coping methods are unavailable so have this short-as-hell fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueGirl22/pseuds/BlueGirl22
Summary: After talking to Zoe, Evan climbs another tree and takes a minute to reflect.





	Evan Climbs A Tree Again

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this is simply "finale" but with a tree, I just needed to write

Evan watched from afar as Zoe got into her car and drove away, leaving him as the only person in sight. He got up off the bench and allowed himself to stand in the warm breeze for a moment, drinking in the lovely vista around him. Dotted around behind the bench were little seedlings just poking up from the ground, and fully grown trees encircled the clearing he in which he was. Without giving it much thought, he started to walk over to the trees and let his mind wander.

Seeing Zoe had been surreal. Everytime he had pictured what it might be like meeting her again, she had always still been angry with him. Still rightfully furious about how much he’d lied to her, her family, and literally everyone else in the world. He remembered that day in the Murphy kitchen, finally letting himself tell the truth, crying more than he would have thought humanly possible, and being sure that his life was over. 

He reached the base of a tree, shielded his face from the sun, and peered up the trunk. He hadn’t tried to climb a tree since the, um, incident occur-  _ No Evan _ , he interrupted his own thought process.  _ You can’t keep thinking in circles like that. You’ve talked to Dr. Sherman about this _ . He hadn’t tried to climb a tree since he’d jumped out of the last one. First he couldn’t do anything at all active because of the cast, and then trees had brought back some not great feelings. Slowly, he reached a hand toward the nearest branch, and little by little hoisted himself up.

When he got to the top, he stared directly into the sun for a minute, and felt calm. His face was warm, and he thought more about what Zoe had said.

_ “I wanted you to see this.” _

Not only had her first reaction to seeing him not been murder, but she had smiled. She laughed politely at his awkward jokes. She had wanted to meet him  _ here _ . She was graduating. She was happy. Her life had moved on. She wanted his to as well.

Suddenly, he felt a tear roll down his cheek.  _ Why am I crying? I’m not sad. Like, at all _ . He brought his sleeve to his face, careful not to throw his balance, and wiped at his eyes.  _ Are these happy tears? I’ve never gotten those before _ . He chuckled, and a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Jared’s said, “ _ Jeez Evan, that’s, like, really emo! You’ve never happy cried? Not ever? Have you never experienced joy? What have you been  _ doing  _ with your life? _ ” He looked out at the sky and grinned. It was nice up here. A strong breeze blew by and he tightened his grip on the branch on which he was sitting. The air smelled like honeysuckle.

His phone buzzed, and he fished it out of his pocket. “Mom Calling” it read. Putting it to his ear, he said brightly, “Hey mom!”

“Hey Evan! I’m just checking in on you, making sure you’ll be home for dinner. I’m making tacos! Where are you?”

Evan bit back the impulse to make up an easy lie that wouldn’t cause questions. He had no need to hide anything from her. “I was just uh, talking with Zoe Murphy. I’ll be home in about half an hour.”

“Zoe Murphy? Why were you talking to- never mind, you don’t have to tell me now. Or at all, for that matter, it’s your business.” She paused. “Where are you now?”

“I’m, um,”  _ don’t lie don’t lie you don’t need to lie,  _ “Up a tree.”

“Evan,” her voice suddenly grave, “You told me about last summer. Are you okay, do you need me to get you?”

“No, no! Nothing’s wrong!” he rushed, “Sorry, I get how that could have sounded. I’m fine. Great, actually.”

He heard her sigh. “Oh, I’m glad! You had me worried there.”

“Sorry, I-”

“There’s no need to apologize, I just scare easily.”

“Thanks.” There was a silence, and Evan ran out of things to say.  _ Maybe I can just lie a little bit _ . “I’ve got to go if I’m going to catch the bus, see you soon!”

“Bye, honey! Love you!”

He hung up the phone, and took another minute to stare at the sky. He really did feel great. He hadn’t felt this peaceful in  _ so long _ . Actually, he didn’t think he’d  _ ever  _ felt this peaceful. He hoped that one day this orchard would serve as a place of joy for someone else, and that they could use it as a place to calm down and persevere through the world’s trials too. That would make every little thing that had happened in his past two years of life worth it. Of course, it already was worth it. Life was always worth it. He knew that now. He knew that all needed to do was just be him.

And that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna talk to me on tumblr *cough*sendmeprompts*cough* I'm @bisexual-evanhansen


End file.
